Judge Leroy (he be fine an' upstandin') were a man known for his absolutes. A man was guilty if'n it was in his face or the way he wore his suspenders and Judge Leroy wasn't gonna mess around with niceties like evidence.
- That was until he went on vacation at his brother's farm and his brother gone broke his leg and Judge Leroy (we call him just Leroy here on in) he says, just fer a few days he'll help out on the fann.
- Leroy's broke-leg brother he was Samuel, Sam for the short version, and his wife she was pretty but hed a sharp tongue, tongue cd cut a roped steer free.
- Well, t'like break Leroy in, she said, we needs t'milk Daisy, an she sent Leroy to the barn.
- So Leroy goes to the barn, and daisy, she is no happy milkin' cow and she kicks Leroy, kicks the bucket.
- But Leroy, he is one determined judge and he hooks one of Daisy's there legs (a frint one) and ties it to the side of barn. He gets to milkin but Daisy, she is MAD and kicks agin, so Leroy he tie upa back leg.
- But still no use cos daisy she get madder an madder so Leroy is fust tying a front leg, then the fourth leg, until Leroy thinks, "A last, ah kin milk this damn cow."
- But no he cain't cos daisy is mooing and setting up a ruckus, So Leroy he hobbles ol'Daisy frontwards so her knees is bent and she cain't move no more.
- Leroy, he is sweating like a hog and mad enufft'spit. But he thinks Lord I have overcome. He has 01 Daisy hobbled down nice, cain't move (but she still moos and lets out her ruckuss). He's got the pail an the stool.
- Leroy he's just about to get t'milkin when nature calls. "Damnation!" thinks Leroy, but this here's a farm, so he unzips and pulls out his thang to water the hay
- When in walks hiss sister-in-law.
- Now this, I hear is what them lawyers call circ-im-stanshull evvy-dence. Well, Leroy, Judge Leroy now, he still presides but I'm telling you fella, no man, not black nor white nor Chinese will be found guilty iq Judge Leroy's court on circ-im-stanshull evvy-dence.
