For more than three decades I have wanted to kill my ex-husband.' When I saw him yesterday make his way into Cub Foods I envisioned the neighbor's Humvee turn the corner, gun it, and leave road kill for ravens.' After all these years we still lived only two miles from one another.' Thomas monopolized the house where I raised our two children.' I lived on the 12th floor of the senior high-rise overlooking the man-made pond with plastic swans half submerged.'
- He was wearing a toupee with a ponytail, an attempt to camouflage his dowager's hump. I stared at my shoes, exaggerated in size due to golf ball bunions; I glanced at my hands peppered with age spots I concealed with Cover Girl foundation, and then stabbed the pavement with my cane knowing my next move.
- I would key his convertible.
- My metro mobility shuttle was parked within rearview mirror vision of Thomas's car.' I had to be sly.' I dug in my purse for a metal nail file.'' With the aid of my cane I scurried over to Thomas's car. I could feel my heart race with anticipation.' Getting even had been so long in coming.' I wanted to be a registered nurse.' I thought back on how I worked two waitress jobs and cleaned offices at night to provide for our children.' I thought back on all the cheating Thomas did throughout our marriage.' I remembered the time he told the children that I wasn't their mother; I was a nanny he had hired, and that their real mother had died a sad and sorry death.' That year for my birthday the kids gave me a Hallmark card that read, 'Happy Birthday to someone who's been like a mother.'
- That's when the scratching started.' It was a powerful sensation that filled me with delight.' For a brief moment in time I felt like an outlaw in charge of my own destiny.' After random and irreverent scratches I decided to inscribe words.' I started with the one syllables: ass, prick, cheat; then graduated to three and four syllables like "omnivore" and "insipid fool."' I hadn't felt such glee and decadence since I reclaimed my last name.' 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life,' I yelled, then I wrote a note and tucked it under the windshield wiper.' It said, 'Head to Maaco; do not pass go, do not collect 200.00 dollars.'
- A young man exited the metro mobility shuttle and approached me.' "Ma'am, what are you doing'" he asked.' "Have you ever been married'' I asked,' 'You be nice to your wife, if you've got one, and this won't happen to you," I said.' The young man firmly took hold of my right arm and yanked the nail file out of my hand and said, "Ma'am, I've phoned the police.' I don't know who you are or where you come from, but you really ought to be ashamed of yourself for ruining my wife's car."''
