I am still the same
drinking till the end
and my girl ask me
why I do it
and I answer
I drink to keep my soul away
from my body
and she says wooow…
I know I love her
but I don't have the guts
to confess her that
she saves me from all the things
that I love
she makes that horrible darkness
that crawling slowly towards me
to take step back.
hangover
shaking hand
pain
and I try to listen to Wagner and
Carl Orff
but it doesn't help
and I try to watch Brando in
Apocalypse now but it's useless
and I try to read Hemingway
but it's no help at all
just an endless day
outside
the little girl laughs
and the boys smile
and the sun looks to me
like an enemy
and Hitler's mama cries in her
grave.
summer highway
touched by the sun in its end
some other time I pretend
that I am someone great:
Mahler,Tuluz-Lotrek,Beethoven,Van Gogh
pace in the room with hands behind my back
look through the window
until everything disappear.
I'm waiting in my room one friend of mine
and watch the desk-
cigarettes
lighter
glass ashtray books coins
silent phone at the end
I imagine
desert cactus tequila
cats and rain
umbrella new shoes
and warm fireplace
….
my friend enters:
“Where's your head at?”
I shook myself from the world
and put two glasses
like I always do.